Letting go


I think George Michael sang it best when he sang “if love me say you love me, but if you don’t just let me go”. Recently Amelie’s ex boyfriend has been calling her and she’s considering going back to him because they have history. Granted when they were happy together in the beginning, but towards the end, they made each other miserable. Maybe they should just let each other go and explore, maybe they’ll be much happier in the end by not being attached.

My latest fortune got me to thinking about all of the attachments that we have. I’m attached to my family and friends which is great, but they think of me as one way and sometimes can stifle my growth as a person. They don’t do it on purpose and I’m sure that I’m guilty of the same thing, we all are. Sometimes we hold onto people and things because we’re afraid, we make assumptions that change is bad.

It’s easier to settle into familiar routines seeing the same people day in and day out because we know what to expect. Amelie might be guilty of this. She is thinking about going back into a relationship that’s not fulfilling her needs, even though there might be something better for her out there. It’s the same with things, we become emotionally attached to things trying to fill some type of void, when sometimes it’s better to just let go.

Earlier this summer I let go of the things I was hoarding, it was just stuff that I had formed attachments with, and once I let it go my space felt better. I felt better, lighter somehow. So to continue that trend and to become more generous with myself I’m letting go of my bad habits and my toxic relationships. I will let go of the frenemies that I’ve made along the way. I will let go of everyone who wants to pigeonhole me into this mold of what they think I should be.

I’ll also let go of the bad dates that I had recently in hope to find someone better, like maybe Eric. He’s only 2 years older and hopefully being honest about everything he’s written to me. So far we’ve had a lot of nonstop texting through the site and I like him. I like his sense of humor and adventure based on what he’s told me. We’ve decided that we’re going to meet up sometime over labor day weekend since neither one of us has plans and this weekend will most likely be a wash-out thanks to tropical storm, soon to be hurricane, Isaac.

In the spirit of this fortune I promise to take whatever relationship I fall into with whomever slowly, not smothering anything before it starts. Hopefully this is not just velleity, my word of the day.


Let the games begin

Online dating should come with a warning label, beware of what you might meet.
I heard from friends that people don’t tell the truth on their profiles, but wow. My latest fortune told me to “do something unusual tomorrow” so I had two dates scheduled for this past weekend I read their profiles and we chatted for a bit, but they were nothing like their profiles.

For starters I’d like to date someone close to my age, I think I’d have more in common with a guy in his twenties maybe early thirties, then with someone I their forties. It is not meant to be an ageist type of thing, it’s just that I’m trying to get myself established. I’m just starting to stand on my own two feet and I’d prefer not to hear when I was your age from the guy I date.


Bachelor number one completely lied about his age. We had a date scheduled for Friday, nothing big, just drinks and maybe some tapas. The restaurant choice was perfect. I’ve always wanted to go to Spain and this place was styled after a Spanish restaurant complete with flamenco dancers. My clothes made me feel good, I was having a very good hair day and my shoes were cute and comfortable. So far everything sounds good only my date was supposed to be in his twenties and was old enough to have a twenty year old.

It was already off to a bad start and I was trying to be polite and at least have one drink, when he said the words, “when I was your age….”. Yuck, that sounds like something my dad would have said when he was alive. On a bright note I did find a new restaurant that I like and will definitely have to go back to.

The second guy well, he just seemed nothing like the guy online. The guy that I chatted with online seemed outgoing and his profile made him sound like someone who likes to be active. The guy that I met for brunch on Sunday was quiet, and by quiet I mean getting him to talk was like pulling teeth. He said he liked camping and the outdoors, but the last time he went was when he was 10. He loved sports, only hadn’t played any since high school unless you include video games. He seemed like a nice guy but we really didn’t have anything in common in person.

I know I’m not perfect and actually can admit most of my faults very easily, but I’m honest. My online profile has my real age, my real body type (curvy, I’m still working on getting rid of 20 pounds), and my real activities, minus the blog. I admit I had a few rough years and am paying for them. I admit I’m still working on the while budget thing and was actual very close this month. I admit I haven’t found my dream job but I had an idea for a few children’s books, however I digress. Based on this weekend I’ll be single for a little while longer. All I can say is that I hope my dates get better, although bad dates would be perfect to write about, so stay tuned more to come.

Dream a little dream….


“Find many dream boxes. Ask a friend to select one. Then dream together” was what my last fortune read well now I love my girlfriends and my guy friends but I think that it’s time for me to start dating again so that I have someone to dream with. When I was younger I planned on being married by the time I turned twenty-five and unfortunately, or fortunately depending on how you look at it, that dream didn’t work out. I was engaged twice, but couldn’t take the plunge.

With the first guy I was engaged to we knew it was a mistake as soon as we moved in together, we were too young and hadn’t finished college. With fiancé number two, I can only say that we had different ideas on marriage and dating, I wasn’t up for an open marriage and don’t share certain things very well. That being said I think that I am ready to share my life with someone, so I’ve opened an account on one of the online dating sites.

My handle is “1985Mermaid” and I can’t wait to see what bites. I thought the mermaid thing was cute considering my name and I needed something easy to remember. To help me write a bio, one of my friends gave me this great site which almost writes your ad for you like a mad lib, despite what you might think I really suck at talking about myself. The picture choosing was the fun part. Amelie‘s done this before and told me to use some action shots, while my friend Sam said close up, just me and no bathing suits. I ended up using a shot from last Halloween and another singing karaoke.

The picture might change, but what I’m looking for probably won’t. I’d like to find a partner, and I still dream of getting married and having kids before hitting thirty-five. The other thing I dream about is finding a new job preferably something that’s a bit more creative. I guess it’s time to let myself dream again.

Go,go gadget go

Well my latest fortune didn’t really give me any advice but it did give me something to reflect on…. “you are a bundle of energy, always on the go”.

Am I really always on the go and is that healthy? There’s always something to do work, eat, and play. There are 24 hours in a day, 8.5 are spent at work, and I confess to getting 7.5 hours of sleep at night, that leaves me with 8 hours of free time. Somehow I don’t feel like I have that much free time, 2.5 hours to eat and 1 hour to get ready in the mornings still leaves me with 4.5 hours. Hanging out with Jilly, Amelie, Sam or any other friends at night I’m left with 1.5 hours roughly. Somewhere in that 1.5 hour span of time I can commute to all of these places and write a blog, but no where in there does it include time to meditate. Thank god for weekends.

Last night to kick off the weekend I hung out with my coworkers at a karaoke bar close to work. On the one hand I work with a nice enough group of people to hang out with after work, but on the other, not a single one got up and sung karaoke with me. Mike, one of my coworkers claimed that he did not have enough drinks in him yet and a few others said that they couldn’t sing. Isn’t that the whole point of karaoke, to get up and sing regardless of whether you can or not?

In my experience the bad singers who are having fun with it are more enjoyable than the good ones who get really serious. I’m also biased because I’m a very bad singer but I do sound great in my car and the shower. Still I think everyone had a great time, and hopefully not all at my expense. I just wish at least one of the people my group had gotten up to sing. I probably should have invited Jilly out, I know she would have sung and the guys would have hit on her.

The point of me mentioning the karaoke is, well am I really at the right job with the right people? I spend a majority of time at a job that uses no creativity with people who don’t have the chutzpah to get up and sing. Being on the go constantly, am I spending my time wisely? I know I said it before but, thank god for weekends. Maybe I’ll go to the beach by myself and reflect today but before I do just have to share one last picture with you…

It’s all original color and completely untouched, sorry if it offends any non-gator fans. Gotta love Florida.

Rain, rain go away…



I hate to say that I’m a fair weather friend, but honestly there are times that I just want to stay in because it’s raining. Before anyone tries to pass judgement keep in mind I live in Florida where rain is usually accompanied by thunder and it’s slightly more dangerous friend, lightning.

While Florida is not the lightning capital of the world, Rwanda has that distinction, Florida is considering to be the lightning capital of America. My state doesn’t lead the list of per capita deaths by lightning strikes, last time I checked New Mexico topped that list. We rank somewhere around fifth, but still a lot of people die from that and I hope not to be one of them.

No going to yoga because of the long walk from Amelie‘s apartment to the clubhouse. Also not in the mood for ladies night at the cowboy place, since the floor would already be muddy even before most people have a chance to spill their drinks on it. So that means I’m staying in, either a good book or a video.

Times like these I miss having someone to cuddle up with on the couch and watch a movie. Of course I’m sure that my muffin top doesn’t need the popcorn and soda that would surely compliment the movie, it would still be nice. It’s been awhile since I’ve had a boyfriend though, I decided to give myself a break after my last relationship failure.

My friend Sam met his girlfriend through one of those online sites and Jilly has always gone out on dates from there, up until recently. I think that she met her boyfriend no one of those sites but I can’t remember, I’ll have to ask her. Maybe since I’m stuck in tonight I’ll try my hand at online dating. I hope I can find someone with a nice smile, who will like my smile.



Sweet temptations….

So I’ve been trying to get I shape lately in more ways than one. I’ve been working on my budget and saving as opposed to spending which has improved, only taking money from the spare change jar and the eBay funds when I need it. I’ve also been working out more by going to yoga classes with Amelie and Jilly is helping me with my rollerblading. It seems only natural that the next area I would try to improve would be my diet, unfortunately I love sweets, chocolate in particular. I’m going to try to apply my latest fortune “do not mistake temptation for opportunity” to this…
I’m not a skinny Minnie like my sister, who looks amazing for any age even after having a few kids, but I do have a couple of extra pounds that seem to gather at my thighs and middle. It doesn’t help that I have one of those jobs where there’s always a cake or pizza party for someone, and people love selling their children’s candy bars, cookies and popcorn. In fact this Friday we have a potluck…ugh lots and lots of carbs, plates loaded down with things you normally would not touch but eat as to not offend someone.

On the one hand I absolutely abhor potlucks, but on the other hand the desserts and my coworker’s buffalo chicken meatballs. My mouth salivates at the thought of those savory little temptations covered in hot sauce. Then she makes a dip out of equal parts Greek yogurt and blue cheese crumbles, healthy and bad for you at the same time, but I digress.

How can someone avoid, something that tastes so good? How do you resist tempting treats like this?

Then again if I want to get in shape and get rid of the extra pounds and muffin top I guess I’m going to have to learn. More fruits and veggies and less chocolate and Pringle’s. More saving and less spending.

Found the fountain of youth



One of my fortunes over the weekend read, “Adventure can be a real happiness”. So my neighbor, Jilly and I decided to visit the Dali museum in St. Petersburg. I had not been able to go to it since they opened the new one and going on a mini road trip with Jilly sounded like fun.

We packed our beach bags and hopped on I275 with the tourist and the snow-birds to enjoy a day at the museum and then a stop over at the beach. The good thing about living in Florida is that just because it’s raining where you live, that doesn’t mean it’ll be raining where you end up at. The bad thing about living in Florida is the vast amount of people on the freeways that don’t know how to drive. I say this since it was raining when we left home and we almost didn’t make it there because of horrible traffic and people who forgot basic driving rules.


The Dali museum was beautiful and strange at the same time. There was a flowing mixture of glass that seemed to swirl out while the concrete form seemed to be a perfect square. To get into the museum you walk past what almost appears to be coral fountains and thru the gift shop. From there you ascend a spiral stair case where the art work is housed into separate wings.



I’ve never been an art critic and can’t really stomach the idea of art history classes, I look at a piece of art and just want pretty, but walking through that museum really makes you think he was brilliant and crazy at the same time. Jilly is the one who paints and she was in heaven, she kept talking about brush strokes and use of colors, blending and techniques. I just had fun looking at the creations of someone who was probably a bit crazy. They didn’t let you take pictures in the galleries so I have none of those to post, but there was a really cool bench outside.


Also on the way out we found this, the fountain of youth


After that a stop off at a wonderful Gelato spot, Paciugo. If you are ever in the area it’s worth a trip, I love ice cream but this was so much better. From there it was onto the beach at Fort Desoto, which is hands down one of my favorite beaches in this state, it’s not too crowded and the water is usually perfect. If Ami had come with us, she would have made us go to Clearwater so that she could find some guys to flirt with and a few places for cocktails, but Jilly just wanted a little R&R. So we had gentle waves, hot sun and soft sandy beaches. It ended up being the perfect little adventure.



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