Letting go


I think George Michael sang it best when he sang “if love me say you love me, but if you don’t just let me go”. Recently Amelie’s ex boyfriend has been calling her and she’s considering going back to him because they have history. Granted when they were happy together in the beginning, but towards the end, they made each other miserable. Maybe they should just let each other go and explore, maybe they’ll be much happier in the end by not being attached.

My latest fortune got me to thinking about all of the attachments that we have. I’m attached to my family and friends which is great, but they think of me as one way and sometimes can stifle my growth as a person. They don’t do it on purpose and I’m sure that I’m guilty of the same thing, we all are. Sometimes we hold onto people and things because we’re afraid, we make assumptions that change is bad.

It’s easier to settle into familiar routines seeing the same people day in and day out because we know what to expect. Amelie might be guilty of this. She is thinking about going back into a relationship that’s not fulfilling her needs, even though there might be something better for her out there. It’s the same with things, we become emotionally attached to things trying to fill some type of void, when sometimes it’s better to just let go.

Earlier this summer I let go of the things I was hoarding, it was just stuff that I had formed attachments with, and once I let it go my space felt better. I felt better, lighter somehow. So to continue that trend and to become more generous with myself I’m letting go of my bad habits and my toxic relationships. I will let go of the frenemies that I’ve made along the way. I will let go of everyone who wants to pigeonhole me into this mold of what they think I should be.

I’ll also let go of the bad dates that I had recently in hope to find someone better, like maybe Eric. He’s only 2 years older and hopefully being honest about everything he’s written to me. So far we’ve had a lot of nonstop texting through the site and I like him. I like his sense of humor and adventure based on what he’s told me. We’ve decided that we’re going to meet up sometime over labor day weekend since neither one of us has plans and this weekend will most likely be a wash-out thanks to tropical storm, soon to be hurricane, Isaac.

In the spirit of this fortune I promise to take whatever relationship I fall into with whomever slowly, not smothering anything before it starts. Hopefully this is not just velleity, my word of the day.


Yard sale success

Hot doesn’t even begin to describe how it felt outside yesterday. The church yard sale started at 8am and was over around noon, to spare us from being outside under the sun in the Florida heat for too long. It’s funny you can spend hours at the beach and not really notice it, but those 4 hours at the church were exhausting. I had sweat coming out of every pore in my body, it was like a sauna. If I ever do another one of those, next time I’ll bring more water. Thankfully I did wear my sunscreen though, and the nice lady next to me, Gladys keep making sure that I re-applied since she bought sunscreen with her.

It was a nice sale though. The church charged a $20 donation per table which they had set lot behind the church building and had refreshments for sale. You could tell the people who had done this before since they had umbrellas, which is another thing I’ll bring if I ever do this again.

Almost everything I had with me sold, the last few items I just donated to the church. So minus the $20 donation and the $5 spent on water, lemonade and a hotdog I made a grand total of forty-five dollars and thirty-seven cents. It’s amazing how much people like to haggle over pennies. Watching Gladys was awesome, she can really negotiate a price. She’d be great to watch at an auction.

Equally amazing to me is that most of this stuff was clutter, things that we didn’t want any longer. A lot of it arrived dusty, some things were broken or chipped and yet people treated our castaways as if they were the deal of the century. It’s true one man’s junk is another one’s treasure.

I did buy one thing at the sale though besides food, I bought a rosebush. Walking past it just had the nicest smell to it. Wish I could share it but aroma vision has yet to be invented.


“whenever possible keep it simple” cont…

It’s a good thing we have a holiday weekend coming up, because my apartment is a disaster area. I would take a picture but it’s pretty bad, and like they always say if you can’t say/do something nice don’t say/do anything at all. B

I will say my closets are organized though and Mary at goodwill has told me she loves my taste. I’m still wondering if the dishes I dropped off will make it to the floor. They were a last years discounted 5 place setting for 12 people, beautiful china with an elegant gold leaf design infused with tiny pastel flowers on the rim.

The box was completely busted and Mike bet me that there was at least one broken plate, but somehow the china was completely intact. I’ll miss that china but it had ex-relationship residue. Now my ex-china, towels, sheets and a few other things will hopefully find a good home.

While I’m still trying to follow my neighbor Jillian’s advice about letting go of what isn’t beautiful, joyful or useful I will say it’s hard to let go sometimes. I realize that possessions are only stuff and that the memories will stay with me, but the stuff is part of what jogs the memories. The books bought with my mother, the clothes bought with friends, the nick knacks bought with exes, Jilly keeps telling me that all of it is taking up space and needs to be removed.

She likened it to pruning a plant, but I don’t have a green thumb and plant metaphors are lost on me. What I do know is that I’m looking forward to the upcoming yard sale at one of my coworkers churches this weekend, it’ll be one more pile gone. Most of my belongings have been categorized, valued, priced and sorted so right now all that’s left is my eBay and library piles.

Hopefully after this weekend is over I will have followed my cookie and simplified. While I’m sure there are more areas to simplify still, the physical is probably the easiest.

“whenever possible keep it simple”

Today’s fortune was to keep it simple, so I’m going to try to do just that. Today with the help of my neighbor Jilly I’m de-cluttering my apartment. Jilly is a whiz with eBay and has one of those naturally trendy senses of style, it’s so effortless. Thankfully she’s offered to help me for free, guessing she’s also curious to see what’s in my apartment since we have lots of closet space.

So far she’s managed to separate a lot of my belongings into four piles: keep, trash, eBay and goodwill. We’re using something that she read in a book to determine what goes where, “if it isn’t beautiful, joyful or useful get rid of it”. Her motto works for somethings but it doesn’t work for everything, if it has any residues from relationships past it automatically goes in the eBay or goodwill pile.

My collection of shot glasses are now being sold somewhere on eBay due to so many of them being bought while on trips with ex-boyfriends, along with paintings, picture frames, small furniture pieces and other trinkets. The stuffed animals they bought me have all ended up in the trash pile, and some towels, blankets and coats are in the goodwill pile. Thanks to Jilly I’m saying goodbye to Jason, Anthony and Mike.

Jason was my first love, I kept his old postcards and letters, I should hate him since he cheated on me but I let go of that hate a long time ago. We went on lots of road trips together and had fun looking at the yard sales, I was left with lots of junk from that one.

Anthony was the first guy I ever lived with, we shared a small apartment together. There’s a saying that familiarity breed contempt, in our case it was true. We made each other crazy with our bad habits. In the end we ending up splitting furniture and haven’t talked since.

Mike is my ex-fiancée… We’re still friends and I’m going to leave it at that. That’s the hard one to part with, but trying to simplify.

Wish me luck, but hopefully my personal space will be feng shui by the end of the week.


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